It is New Year’s Eve and I am listening for the phone with one ear while I make the bed and start the laundry. Not to see if I have a date or not – that’s a given now, although my date of the evening is down for the count with a sinus infection. One of my favorite parts of telling the story of how we got together is that “….I had to marry him, to be able to date him….” since our work schedules were so chaotic back then.
We had planned to go to an upscale restaurant down the road to celebrate with the rest of the grateful, but it looks like that might be on the back burner. Instead, I’ll most likely be watching the remnants of my youth on the t.v. as I once again view an aging Dick Clark. America’s Youngest Teenager is looking a little rough around the edges the last few years, but he still feels it’s his responsibility to count down the old and bring in the new. My beloved will snore beside me, sleeping the dreams of drug induced slumber, while the germs beat a hasty retreat, dissipating into the fog of the vaporizer laced with vicks vapo rub.
It’s nice to feel needed, which I think is what drives the Teenager as well.
I’m waiting for the phone to ring, telling me if I have to come into work. If it doesn’t ring for today it most likely be for tomorrow – and that’s ok. It’s the unknown which is a little disconcerting. But for the most part, I am happy to be home, writing some thank you notes, organizing my office for the new year, and tending to my sweet, ailing hubby.
There are no longer the daily list of check-ins to see where my children might be. I already know.
They are where they are supposed to be.
No more are the calls to find out who is sleeping over whomever’s house, or who is the designated driver, or who is buying the beer. It’s no longer any of my business, although they have all connected in one way or the other to wish us a Happy New Year. Time has passed to allow such mundane checklists to float away like the vaporizer mist in my bed room.
The phone hangs on the wall in the kitchen, and I once again spy the most beautiful apron in the world. Given to me by my son and his beloved, it is truly a gift made from the heart. I received it on our Saturday Christmas and immediately tied it around my waist, christening it with tomato sauce and ham juice. It will pain me to have to wash it, to remove the newness of it. For now, it will hang on the door jam of my kitchen, a constant reminder of their appreciation of becoming a family. I would frame it, if I could.
All of them worked on it; my oldest grandson and even the baby, christening it with their perspiration, late night fatigue and love. All of them ailing with the bug now visiting my beloved, they worked until their eyes were heavy with sleep and fevers too high to ignore.
From the tiniest sewing of gingerbread men appliqué on the front to mending the raw edges of the tie backs, it is probably one of the most touching gifts I have ever received. It will be come the touchstone to my performance as a Mother-in-law. A reminder to bite my tongue when I don’t agree with something, or to praise when I am happy. I know how it feels to be disliked by your husband’s family, as is the case of my ex's. I will never do that to any of my children.
The sun is falling behind the clouds as it will soon begin to snow again, something the weathermen had forecasted and which is not a surprise. It is December 31st and I am once again reminded of how blessed I have been and how much I am looking forward to the New Year.
I will continue to write and to share with the readers who frequent my columns my thoughts of the day or share a story or two. It is what I was always meant to do, and becoming a writer is one of my proudest accomplishments. There are several books being released this coming year.
So I will continue to look forward and not back. I won’t wallow is self-pity or remorse. Most of all, I will remember the message from my dad, the off-the-cuff remark left on a recorded tape message of goodbye to my mother and my siblings and most pointedly to me. He must have recorded it on one of his good days, and hid it so as not to be found until many years later.
Ephesians 4:31-32 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
