Eileen Loveman Daily Posting

I have always loved being a Mother.

I think its the only thing I ever really wanted to be. It's why I've always had a hard time trying to carve out a career. I already had one and didn't realize it.

When I was 8 years old, I already knew. I had it all planned that I was going to have 10 childen, a nanny, and live in a big house in the country on a hill. I had no idea what kind of a husband I would marry, and as I got older, I realized I should have thought that piece through a little better. Never got the nanny, either. But no matter. I knew I would have those kids, somehow, someday. I never looked pregnant from the rear, and I always got a kick out of people's reaction at the mall as they walked around me. Seeing their expression on their faces as they passed by us, my brood in tow with big belly leading, we would always laugh. My neighbors used to say I was like a bear in hibernation, disappearing in the Fall, to emerge in the Spring with a new cub, and ready to do it again.

Although my methods may not have always gelled with how other people would do it, I know that I was, and still am, a very good mother. Proud to be a card carrying member, I have made many mistakes, none life threatening. Motherhood makes you put yourself outside oneself. You are the last to eat and the first to get up from the table. Motherhood teaches you endurance and trusting your gut, holding on to stubborness when you know you are right. It teaches you to be strong. You learn how to become deaf in one ear, blind in one eye, but aware of everything. You lose your voice from screaming, but can yell the loudest when your child needs help.

My kids have all had their share of stitches, sprained limbs, and bumps on the head. Thankfully, no broken bones, but there have been some scary dog bites.

I have been a mother through different stages in my life. A mother at 21 years old is far different than being a mother at 30, and even more different than being a step mother. I'm now a nana/mother to a child born too soon, but loved and cherished just the same. The basic instinct of mothering never goes away.

I have the scars and the lines to prove my admittance into the Motherhood Union. Lines across my forehead from worrying about missed curfews, and laugh lines around my mouth from the wonderful practical jokes my kids have played. Phone calls in the middle of the night to please come get me ma, I drank too much, I'm sorry, I wear them like medals, my badges of honor, loosing a battle but winning a war. I can cover the gray hair with a trip to the hairdresser, I can tuck in my tummy with control top pantyhose. I would never think of using botox to ease the lines on my face. Some scars are on the inside, words said in anger, decisions made in haste. But they are few and not worth agonizing over. They are yesterday, a step on the rung to maturity for all of us, a climb we have taken together.

Mothering comes easily to me, a natural reaction like sneezing or laughing. Little kids in the pews like a hug from me at the sign of peace at church, they know I am somebody's mother and enjoy the heartfelt squeeze I give them. I remember my kids' friends when they were little, now towering over me. The priests have always referred to me as Mother D. Does this mean we have to call you Mother L now they asked at one staff meeting.

No. I know I will always be Mama Dillio to all of them, no matter how many name changes or styles I may try to adapt. That's all right. I know who I am.

Other mothers may have tried to make me feel inferior, focusing in on mistakes made or errors in judgment. No matter. I don't have to answer to them. I'm not perfect and I don't expect anyone else to be. I forgive myself.

If there are words of wisdom I could impart today, they would be this. You are a mother, but you are not perfect. If you've done something that you wish you hadn't, forgive yourself. They won't take away the union card. The other mother's, the one's who think they are perfect, have a rude awakening coming someday.

They are human. Just like the rest of us.

Happy and Blessed Mother's Day to all the Mothers, whether you gave birth to your child or not. To those of you who have lost their Mothers, I hope this day is not too painful for you. I wish you peace and serenity in the knowledge your Mother watches over you still, even though she is not visible. You carry her forever in your heart and will see her again someday.

May the Lord continue to bless you with good judgment, good spirit, a sense of humor, patience and childlike wonder at seeing the world through your children's eyes.

It's the best job in the world. I thank God everyday that he hired me.